Text Box: The ‘33 Tiger Cub News Spring 2006 Text Box: Gems from the Internet. Text Box: The Chuckle Corner…….. Text Box: A Word from the ‘Pres.’ - To paraphrase President Abraham Lincoln is his famous Gettysburg address:¾ “Three score and sixteen years ago (September 1, 1929) Dean Heermance, Director of Admissions at Princeton University, brought forth and presented to Dr, John Greer Hibben, President of the university, a list of 628 males who would henceforth be known as members of the Princeton Class of 1933”. Each became special in our memories as the class survived five wars, the Great Depression, countless mini-economic setbacks, and all the usual debilitating quirks of nature. To try to name those who individually became famous in a chosen field would not only be a Herculean task, but also divisive if one were unfairly overlooked, or another less deserving, included. So let us instead salute them all¾ for each one was important in his own way. Convincing evidence of the spirit of support and cooperation that is typical of our great class is readily found within our group of class officers. When your past President Curly Marsh became too ill to continue, I felt not only honored, but obligated and ready to assume his duties. In turn, when my health broke down, with many weeks being spent in the hospital, vice-president Jack Bishop fulfilled the duties of the job while still declining the title, leaving me forever grateful to him. Secretary Josh Billings does such an exemplary job keeping track of all of us and writing the class notes in PAW, I don’t know what we would do without him. As I write this, he tells me our class roll now numbers only thirty-three. Odd, and sad, coincidence ! (Continued on next page>>>>) Text Box: A Note from the Editor……… (That fancy feline with the furry finery above) Alas, it seems only proper at this point to remember a line from Lewis Carroll’s poem about the Walrus and the Carpenter in Alice in Wonderland: “The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things….” In our case, the time has come to cease production of The ’33 Tiger Cub News, for our class roll is now reduced to less than five percent of its original number. It was never intended that our little publication would continue forever. Rather, it was hoped that it could fill to a small extent that tremendous gap in communication that resulted when Bob Keidel left us and the 1933 Summer Newsletter no longer existed. From this side of the computer, it’s been a worthwhile and enjoyable project ― and we hope it’s been worth your reading on occasion. In the meantime, good health, much happiness and great memories ! For the editor, John Harman Cub Reporter Text Box: <<<< Reprinted from the 1990 issue of the 1933 Summer Newsletter. <<<< Text Box: THIS one represents a lot of research on someone’s part. It suggests that you recall that a chicken once crossed a street and wonders what knowledgeable people of the world might have concluded was the reason. Typical responses included the following: Kindergarten teacher: To get to the other side. Plato: For a significant benefit. Aristotle: It is in the nature of chickens to cross streets. Karl Marx: It was historically unavoidable. Jaques Chirac: I think the chicken has shown us in a certain calm manner, that it matters, especially now, in a time when people are more reflective¾ I always experience that in my speeches¾ to consider the street not something divisive but as something to bring people together. Captain James C. Kirk: To go where no chicken has gone before. Hippocrates: Because of overproduction by the pancreas. Martin Luther King, jr.: I see a world where chickens are free to cross streets without having their motives questioned. Moses: And the Lord spoke to the chicken: “Thou shall cross the street.” And the chicken crossed the street and there was great joy. Helmut Kohl: I have given the chicken my word of honor not to discuss in public its civil rights and motive for crossing the street. Bill Clinton: At no time was I ever alone with the chicken. Gerhard Schroeder: I say this: The chicken probably saw a peaceful hand with food on the other side of the street. That’s all. Bill Gates: I am marketing a ‘chicken 2006’ that can cross the street as well as lay and hatch eggs. Darwin: Over eons chickens have been chosen by nature to cross streets. Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the street or the street moved under the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Princeton alumnus: If you had seen that gorgeous chick on the other side, you would have crossed too. In a hurry, and just ahead of that guy from Yale ! Text Box: WHY lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer: In a trial, a small Southern town prosecuting attorney called the first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know me ?” She responded: “Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big-shot when you don’t have the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.” The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney ?” She again replied: “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He’s lazy, bigoted and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of whom was your wife. Yes, I know him.” The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench. And in a very quiet voice said: “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw both your sorry butts in jail for contempt !”