FUND FOR REUNION/PRINCETON GALA
P.O. Box 1481, Princeton, New Jersey 08542
| NEWS FROM THE FUND FOR REUNION/PRINCETON GALA P.O. Box 1481, Princeton, New Jersey 08542 |
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| Volume XI, No. 1 | July 1997 |
It started with one paragraph in an "On the Campus" piece by Julie Rawe '97 in the May 7 issue of PAW. The piece, entitled "Student Weddings," reported that Jason Rudy '97 and Michael Beer *95 were to be married in the Chapel on April 26. The piece asserted that Jason and Michael were the first same-sex couple to marry in the Chapel, and noted that Associate Dean of Religious Life and the Chapel Sue Ann Steffey Morrow would officiate. Rawe then went on to discuss (at far greater length) the elopement of a pair of heterosexual Princetonians.
Another item appeared in the Special Reunions Issue of the Prince. The article noted that the men were both atheists, but that they'd modeled their ceremony on traditional religious weddings, including an exchange of vows and poetry readings that substituted for Bible readings. Jason said he and Mike felt it was natural to solemnize their commitment to one another in the Chapel, because they were both Princetonians, had met while at Princeton, and were "very much a part of the Princeton community." The Prince article described the ceremony as "secular," and noted that it "did not create a legally recognized bond."
A spate of mostly hostile letters followed in the July 2 issue of PAW. PAW published 14 letters , 10 were negative, three were supportive, and one--from the Rev. Joseph C. Williamson--stated the current position of University and the Chapel. The hostile letters made a variety of claims: Arch Fletcher '38 stated that "as far as [he knew], such a [same-sex] marriage is not recognized or approved by any major religion or by law in any state." He claimed that the wedding was a "Christian ceremony," and expressed dismay that professed atheists had been married in the chapel--an opinion shared by several other letters. Many of the writers threatened to withhold donations; some demanded Sue Ann's resignation or removal; another demanded an apology from the University.
Three letters were supportive. Paul Spagnoli, Jr. '46 asked, "Shouldn't we practice some of the Christian charity we profess?" noting that the decision of professed atheists to marry in the Chapel might well have been meant not to insult religion but rather to have "expressed their need for spiritual as well as temporal support." Edward Rybka '75 congratulated the newlyweds, the Chapel (for allowing the ceremony), and PAW (for covering it, in Rybka's opinion, "with dignity"). Bill Oliver '90 wondered why PAW hadn't devoted an entire article to the wedding, instead of juxtaposing it with a heterosexual elopement that was a "parent's nightmare": a "whim, a secret, even camp (their honeymoon at a mall?)."
According to SueAnn, the PAW's editor, Jim Merritt '66, made several editorial decisions skewing the collective impact of the letters toward the anti-gay side of the issue: he opened with 10 negative letters in a row, he buried the three supportive letters in the second-to-last slot, and he put Dean Williamson's letter last, the slot considered least important in news writing.
A number of the negative letters claimed that no major religion or law recognizes or approves of same-sex marriage. This is in fact untrue. Several Christian denominations--including the Presbyterians, Greek Orthodox, United Church of Christ, Metropolitan Community Church, and Unitarians--leave the question to the discretion of the local congregations, and many of these local congregations do in fact perform marriages or "holy unions." Several of these denominations have established networks of congregations that have publicly taken a progressive stance on several issues, including same-sex marriage. The Presbyterian Church has established the More Light Church network, the Methodist Church has the Reconciling Congregations, and the UCC has the Open and Affirming Congregations. The MCC not only routinely performs gay marriages, but its New York chapter also has a flier listing local churches of nine different Christian denominations, along with one synagogue, that perform marriage, holy-union, or commitment ceremonies for same-sex couples. The Reform Movement of Judaism similarly leaves the question of whether to perform same-sex marital blessings to individual synagogues.
As for the legal status of gay marriage, the issue continues to be thrashed out in the US courts, with the Hawaii case still on appeal and the Defense of Marriage Act under constitutional challenge. In Europe, Denmark, Sweden, and Norway recognize same-sex marriages. Unfortunately, these laws establish gay marriages as different than heterosexual marriages and refuse gay couples some of the rights granted to heterosexual couples.
This language is open to interpretation. The phrase "sanctioned by law or any church" could be construed to mean that any future same-sex marriages coul d in fact be recorded in the Chapel's registry if these marriages were "sanctioned" by an organized church, e.g. MCC. As a result, Dean Williamson's statements could be interpreted as excluding only non-religious same-sex ceremonies.
Nonetheless, a June 27 Academe Today article interpreted these statements as caving in to alumni pressures, and stated that Princeton had "placed limits" on same-sex ceremonies. The article indicated that only heterosexual couples would "be allowed to sign the Chapel's 'Registry of Marriages,'" and quoted Princeton spokesperson Justin Harmon: "if it is called a Registry of Marriages, and a commitment ceremony doesn't qualify for a marriage under New Jersey law, then they shouldn't sign it." Harmon "acknowledged that some people might assume that the chapel or the university had approved the marriage of couples who signed the book," indicating that the chapel would hereafter respect only the will of the state, not the will of the church.
Regardless of interpretation, the current position appears to violate at least the spirit of Princeton's nondiscrimination policy.
Sue Ann stated that she feels "very solid about where the University" stands on this issue, and that she has its full support. She indicated that University President Harold Shapiro has stated publicly that same-sex marriage at the Chapel is the "natural outcome" of the University's nondiscrimination policy, and that the Chapel is "absolutely an appropriate" place for same-sex marriages. She says the Board of Trustees is backing up the President, and that she has received no pressure from the University's Office of Development.
Join us for a fun and relaxing trip down the Wading River in the South Jersey Pine Barrens. Our guide is Todd DeJesus '90, who has spent the past four years working with the Pinelands Commission to preserve these precious resources. We will be meeting at the Wading River in Mount Laurel, NJ, (about 15 minutes from Philadelphia and 1 hour 45 from NY) around 11:30 a.m. and should be on the water around noon for a three hour tour down the river. At the end of the ride we will be driven back to where we started and head off for dinner. Transportation will be arranged from NYC and possibly from Philadelphia.
Since we need to reserve canoes, reservations are necessary. Please send checks payable to FFR/Princeton GALA for $40 per person (dinner not included) to:
Shawn Cowls '87, 465 W. 23rd Street, #11K
New York, NY 10011-2116
For more information, call (212) 229-1769.
FFR/Princeton GALA has scheduled its first social event for the Boston area. On Sunday, November 2nd, Lex Kelso '71 and Michael Malamut '82 will co-host a brunch for GLB tigers and friends in Boston. The midday event has been scheduled to follow the previous evening's Human Rights Campaign fall dinner in Boston. For details call:
Lex 617-354-7606(home) or
Michael 617-988-4174(work).
Proceeds from the event will benefit FFR/GALA.
I come from the radical center. Princeton taught me this: to be orthodox and rational; to base my understanding on real evidence, instructed by a logical thought process. In light of the recent controversy over a same gender "marriage" celebrated in Princeton Chapel, allow me to be radically centrist.
More than most species, Homo Sapiens are endowed with an innate need to bond, especially in the context of the commonly understood mode of marriage. In the Christian faith community, the earliest theological debates focused on the true meaning of freedom and conscience, abandoning ("nailing to the cross") deeply held prejudices about right and wrong. How hypocritical to demand freedom of choice only in life disciplines that conform to "my" frame of reference.
Of course, there are certain things where I am not free to make choices. My eyes are blue. My race is Caucasian. My death is certain. My sexual identity is homosexual. Herein rests an element of the equation that allows disparate views to develop. Until our "adversaries" accept the reality that being "gay" is not a choice, a resolution of our differing ways of facing personal identity cannot be expected. Move this mountain and the controversy will dissipate like the morning mist.
Based on the understanding that variances of sexual expression are inherent to the human, many "heteros" are beginning to accept the premise that the Church and society must move in the direction of embracing the conventions that will allow ALL constituents to express themselves in responsible moral choices. Thus, to deny same gender "marriage" and, at the same time, to demand that "we" live moral lives is not only hypocritical, it is illogical.
In resolving the current conflict, am I expecting too much of the Princeton family? I don't think so. Should the learning experience end with "Old Nassau" sung on the hallowed steps? I hope not. Not long ago, the so-called educated person became quite emotional over issues such as black versus white, landed citizenship versus free citizenship, Protestant versus Catholic, male versus female. Yet, even within the Princeton family, there seems to be a lingering "old boy" mentality regarding many of these issues, including sexual constitution versus choice, true experiential morality versus "don't ask, don't tell."
As an older alumnus, I take great solace in the movement toward true personal freedom that is being forged by many brave brothers and sisters today, a movement only dreamt about when I schmoozed at "The Balt", and I contemplate what it would be like to have a Church where "my" identity would be openly embraced. Today, hundreds of Churches exist where who we are is not only embraced, it is celebrated.
Our challenge is to keep the dialogue open, to share our deeper (and perhaps more informed) conclusions about all issues.
Just think. We accepted a University president who did not come from the Presbyterian tradition. And the Chapel walls didn't fall in! One day, perhaps a lesbian, Afro-American will reside with her mate in Prospect. I don't aspire to being Dean of the Chapel, openly socializing with my same gender mate of nineteen years. But the thought has crossed my mind.
Sisters and brothers: keep the faith!
In a reunion that was arguably Princeton's gayest, FFR/Princeton GALA hosted an especially well attended series of events, both social and educational.
Saturday morning before the P-rade, FFR/GALA held a round-table discussion of gay and lesbian student life at Princeton--"then and now." A follow-up to FFR's popular briefing at Alumni Day in February, the reunions session underscored how dramatically GLB life on campus has changed over the past three-plus decades.
Presenting accounts of their own experiences at Princeton were Tom Grant '64, Joan Katz '79, Shawn Cowls, '87, Curtis Schuhmacher '87, and Suman Chakraborty, '97. Panelists' commentaries were followed by observations from several members of the audience, which numbered about thirty and included alumni children and members of the university faculty and staff.
The resulting message was that, while Princeton is far from the perfect environment for GLB life, we've come a long way.
The P-rade itself at least looked very gay, thanks largely to the Class of '87, which dressed both their men and wome in white T-shirts and orange-and-black plaid kilts (or were those field hockey skirts?). The costume choice was generally deemed to be not coincidental, as '87 is a legendarily queer class.
Following the P-rade, FFR/GALA held its annual meeting in Marx Hall. Approximately 40 alums and their guests heard an annual report from FFR president Shawn Cowls and elected a board of trustees for the 1997-98 term. The brief meeting segued into a wine-and-cheese reception.
After dinner and disco naps, gay grads reconvened at Terrace Club for an evening of beer and dance co-chaired by Brandon Fradd '83 and myself. Hamptons deejay Roggie Pettaway spun golden oldies and cutting-edge favorites for about 100 revelers representing graduating classes from the fifties to the 21st century.
With Reunions comes the end of another year for the PU LGB Concerns Task Force. As a working group of the University administration, we, the Task Force, are charged by the President "specifically with responsibility to identify and recommend ways to improve the quality of life for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and other sexual minorities on campus." Composed of representatives from all corners of the University community, including students, faculty, staff, alumni, and the administration, we work with and report directly to Joann Mitchell, Associate Provost and Special Assistant to the President, who has operational oversight of the University's equal opportunity and affirmative action programs. This structure was authorized by President Shapiro in June 1996 for a period of two years.
Specifically, President Shapiro defined our role along three lines: (1) Providing advice as solicited to various officers of the University who seek to reduce homophobia and to ensure a climate of safety and equality of opportunity for sexual minority members of the University community.
We enlarged the mailing/membership list to include representatives of the Deans of Student Life, the Graduate School, the College, and the Faculty, as well as the Vice President of Human Resources. Attendance at Task Force meetings remains open to all members of the University community.
A delegation worked with Dean of the College Nancy Malkiel to draft a new policy for the hiring of Assistant Masters, following a controversy about policies relating to the employment of graduate students with domestic partners.
Discussions with the Director of Athletics and the Assistant Dean of Admissions regarding ways to address issues of concern to the LGBT community are ongoing.
(2) Collecting and sharing information of interest concerning LGB issues.
The Source, a campus and local guide to LGBT resources, was published, distributed, and placed on the LGBA web site: http://www.princeton.edu/~lgba/TheSource We compiled a list of all Princeton senior theses and doctoral dissertations in or relevant to LGBT Studies. We also produced and advertised a list of LGBT courses to be offered in the spring semester.
(3) Suggesting new initiatives as may seem appropriate to ensure fairness, equality of opportunity, and respect for all members of our diverse University community.
Over the past year, we organized a series of joint community meetings with the student LGBA in order to promote communication and engagement in cooperative projects. We secured LGBT involvement in the University's 250th Anniversary festivities, including: a history of the LGBT community at Princeton for inclusion in the upcoming edition of "The Princeton Companion," edited by Justin Harmon; and participation in the "Our Side of Paradise" conference and banquet celebrating 25 years of pride at Princeton.
We now prepare for the final year of President Shapiro's two-year appointment and begin to address the issue of the future of the Task Force and/or of its activities following the expiration of this appointment. With the departure of Michelle Seldin, we will again be working with a new LGBA Coordinator to address the issues relevant to Princeton's LGBT community.
For further information on the activities of the LGB Concerns Task Force, or to become involved, please contact me at 215-790-0192.
David Beaty '50
Mark Blasius *78 *90
Shawn Cowls '87, President
Tom Grant '64, Vice President
Joan Katz '79
Gordon Harrison '68 *70, Treasurer
Bob Hotes '85, Secretary
Nicolas Janberg '96 *98
Dick Limoges '60
Philip Mahin '85
Michael Phillips '90
Brandon Fradd '83
Janet Schomer '82
Larry Sicular '75
Trae Williamson '94
Contacting Us: We can be reached at:
Fund for Reunion/Princeton BTGALA, P. O. Box 1481, Princeton, NJ 08542
For faster response, send e-mail to
Fund for Reunion
You can sign up for FFR/Princeton BTGALA using our mail form.
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